See checklist:
- Boy and girl on a trip in the sticks? Yep
- Boy with bad past, digging it up a little? Yep
- Bad dreams and premonitions about a creepy place resulting in the characters deciding to go to said creepy place? Check
- Creepy petrol station and even creepier couple owning it? Certainly!
- Inhospitable locals? You got it!
- Religious stuff and the weirdest demonic beginning ever? Uh huh
- Crusified remains? Yep
- Evil fog? Oh yes!
- Spooky old books and characters dumbly reading them aloud to begin the mayhem? Of course!
- Demons?
- Zombie things?
- Spew?
- Bloody writing?
- Magick spells?
- Ghosts?
- Confusing, 2D characters?
- Inescapable location?
- Odd special effects?
- Creepy children?
- Demonic voices?
- Evil fog?
- A place you can't leave or escape?
- Technology failing them?
- Never-ending shotgun rounds?
- Yes to all!
Oh, but one thing that was missing.... Demon Wind! That was what made me click play on the YouTube machine! I wondered, is it about demonic gas? Evil methane? Or is it a place like the name of the house is 'Demon's Wind' or something? Nope. Still confused!
The main character is called Corey (Eric Larson) and he and his girlfriend, Elaine (Francine Lapensée) are driving to Corey's old family home; a delapidated farm house in the middle of nowhere. His father has committed suicide after telling Corey that their family is cursed for worshipping Satan and that his grandparents had died in the cottage in a fire started by a Demon worshipping madman cleric.
How's that for a plot? Bloody crazy? Oh, it gets better.
So, it seems ol' Corey just couldn't have himself and Elaine have all the family tree, family death plot viewing fun to themselves, and invited all of their friends. And the friends actually turn up! Go figure!
Some of the friends are hilarious:
- You have a magical karate kid magician who looks a lot like Jared Padalecki (but obviously isn't as he's way too young!)
- You have the sensible dude (you know he's sensible because he speaks proper English and wears glasses) who from some angles kind of looks like a very young Alan Tudyk (but isn't).
- And you have your jock, who looks a bit like Zack from "Saved By The Bell". But isn't.
The dialogue is terrible, and the demons (and pretty much most of the plot) is like a crappy copy of "Evil Dead". There's also a lot of shots of demons spewing white stuff and I believe most of the SFX budget was blown on one particular scene where Magician dude and the dude called Stacey (Jack Vogel) blow apart some zombie-demon/deadite-knockoffs with sawed off shotguns. Body parts flying everywhere!
I especially enjoyed the very 80s/90s neon light special effects!
The end is just confusing with Corey and Elaine suddenly becoming super witches and then Corey's head going all Coneheads-meets-Star Trek.
One thing I really liked though; how do you have a haunted farmhouse and a place for your characters to be stuck in if your farmhouse has been inconveniently burnt down in the opening scene? Easy! Alternate dimensions! Enter through the door and go back in time to the full house. Enter from the side of the ruin, and stay in reality!
Things that really just annoyed me:
- Maggots in an egg.... WTF?
- They get magic knives, or Athanes, which will kill the demons. They use both up very quickly and promptly lose them.
- Why did one girl turn into a demonic baby doll?!
- Why did one guy grow backwards and turn into a dove?!
Generally, a complete and utter load of crazy with some typical demonic voices and several plots going at once. In fact, I'm still confused! This film didn't know what it was, and tried to do everything. All that was missing was a possessed hand and some foliage rape and this damn circus would have been a complete rip from the great mind of Raimi. But again it's free, so if you want to find out for yourself just how awesomely bad this film is, get on YouTube!
[Picture: United Filmmakers]
"Demon Wind - It'll blow you away!"
Hani
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